Girlfriend to Rated: X

The term “boyfriend” implies “potential husband.” All too often, we see teenagers and even some adults jumping into relationships for the wrong reasons. For the most part, people do not understand the dynamics of a relationship. Many times, people make a commitment to their partner by claiming they are “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” However, they view a relationship as only a short term obligation. You must understand that if your initial perception of your partner is only to be a short-term “fling,” then you believe he/she is not “marriage material.” Although you may grow to like or even love the qualities of that person, there will always be certain aspects about your partner that complicate your efforts in maintaining a long-term relationship. Consequently, you should not commit to him/her. In this light, you are only setting yourself and your partner up for heartbreak. The idea that relationships are meant to be broken is derived from an immature mind. If you do not see your partner as a potential husband or wife, there is no foundation to preserve a relationship. Today, the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” have adopted an arbitrary definition implying “disposable.” However, you must realize that if you view your partner as “disposable,” you feel that “you can do better.” Whatever the case, if you do not view your partner as “marriage material,” there is no basis for commitment.

Omit the bad details...

Most woman lie by omission. Considering the qualities of the man she is interested in, the woman’s personality will conform to fit his perceived image of “the perfect woman.” If the man is a more conservative, innocent character who wants the same in his partner, the woman will omit any details that may corrupt her efforts in becoming “the perfect woman” for him. Since sexual interaction is the most distinct way to judge a persons morals and principles, most sexual details that may change the man’s interpretation of her are left untold. For example, instead of telling her guy that she has had sex with a man she met on the first night, she would only tell him about her sexual contacts within a relationship. In this sense, his image of her as the perfect woman has not been distorted. After all, she hasn’t told him she is a virgin; rather, she is “selective” in whom she chooses to sleep with. In this light, the woman has preserved her image as a woman with strong morals and self-respect. However, in order to understand the affects of lying by omission, we must ask the question: If these details were revealed, would he still “select” you?

Just Friends?... UH OH!

Except for one condition, there is no such thing as “just friends.” To explain the manner in which this theory is arrived mandates the examination of the following principles: Primarily, friendship implies commonality. That is, the qualities that your “friend” has, makes you feel comfortable, secure, and want to maintain and preserve that relationship (i.e. their personality is attracting). Secondly, friendship is based on openness, and openness promotes an even stronger bond. So if personality counts, but you are still “just friends”, what is really happening? This is the exception. One or both parties are not attracted to the other. If someone says to you, “Let’s just be friends”, that means one of two things. Either you are actually friends and they want to go no further because you are unattractive to them, or it is a cliché dismissal (in which case you probably didn’t know each other for very long before hand). In this light, friendship –in its true form- requires mutual un-attraction. Otherwise it is a fictitious concept, leaving one party void of what they desire. If you’re stuck in the friend zone, the object of your unrequited desire probably thinks that to be with you is to settle.

What a Girl Wants... Maybe?

A GIRL wants a guy that other girls want. To clarify, human nature is to work for what we feel is important; otherwise, we are only settling for what is available. In this case, the feeling of accomplishment has not been realized once we settle for whatever or whoever is available. In relation, every woman has her idea of the perfect man imbedded in her mind. For the most part, he is not the one who is available at any given time; he is the one that she must work to get. Thus, the idea that looks don’t matter and personality is what counts is false. Moreover, once a girl begins to see that she is the only one attracted to her guy, she will eventually begin to question her own reasons for being with him. Accordingly, once she begins to question her motives for being with her partner, she will begin to think that she is settling. Besides, she has not had to “work” for him since he does not attract attention from other woman. As a result, the feeling of accomplishment is void. At this stage, all is lost; she believes that “she can do better.” Consequently, he is not the best for her.

Why Men and Women Cheat!

Men and Women cheat for different reasons. Generally, there doesn’t have to be anything wrong in a relationship for a man to cheat. By nature, men are visual creatures. If something catches his eye, he will act as a moth hypnotized by light. “The brighter the light, the stronger he will be attracted to it.” From this definition, physical attributes influence the act of cheating; the reasons behind his iniquity are purely physical. However, women are emotionally driven individuals. From this perspective, we may infer that women are drawn toward emotional and mental stimulation. Considering these are the qualities that encouraged her to stay faithful, what goes wrong when she chooses to creep? Usually, her desire for mental and emotional stimulation is left unfulfilled by her partner. Consequently, something has gone wrong within the relationship. The woman will only consider cheating once the man does not meet her mental and emotional needs. Accordingly, the man who meets her needs for mental and emotional stimulation will be the object behind her deceit. Although I do not offer an excuse for a man to cheat on his partner, the nature of the woman’s deceit requires the act of cheating to be premeditated. Moreover, the woman has planned and calculated the exact time to cheat on her partner. The woman learned to appreciate and adore the emotional and mental aspects of the other guy. Thus, the reason behind the woman’s deceit is not static; it cannot be isolated as only one episode. Rather, it is the culmination of continuous deceit within a relationship. “The other woman caught his eye; the other guy stole her heart.”